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Journey through Pregnancy: Month 2

Journey through Pregnancy: Month 2
If you read my previous post on pregnancy loss, you would know that we’ve struggled through 2019 & 2020 with 3 miscarriages. Long story short I am a high risk pregnancy with essentially a flip of a coin for success rate for the first 8 weeks. Therefore every day is a new set of nerves because I know I am not guaranteed tomorrow. This post is coming much later in my pregnancy because we were, understandably, not ready at all to announce to the world that we were pregnant, especially with so many losses. But I wanted to document how I was feeling about all of this as I went along. The first two pregnancies I bought pregnancy journals but with the third I said f*ck it. I’m not wasting my money when who knows how long this will last. And so birthed this blog series (pun totally intended).

How far along

8 weeks – crazy to think there is only 7 months left!

Sex

Still idea & I don’t care. I just want the baby to survive.

Total weight gain/stretch marks

Nothing. I am still around 135 lbs (+/- each morning 1 lbs) but my tummy is definitely holding more weight than before. My boobs are different (aka bigger) but no need for new bras yet.

Maternity Clothes

No, way too early. Not even dreaming about being there yet.

Sleep

Finally got over most of my exhaustion from month 1 but now I have to get up in the middle of the night a few nights a week to pee. That is hella annoying.

Miss Anything?

I miss not having to google every time I go to eat anything. Prosciutto? No. Sandwich meat? No. Hot foods bar buffet? No. That’s annoying. And, yes I know many doctors are more lenient with this but I’ve already had 3 losses & I am high risk. The cards are stacked high against me – I’m not here to roll the dice.

Cravings

I am getting a bit of my appetite back but cooked veggies are still meh to me. Pasta and bread with cream or butter is the #1 thing I want. I am trying really hard to not go crazy and still eat a balanced diet.

Symptoms

Constipation a bit. Gross I know & kinda terrifying. I had a little bit of spotting one day & got it checked out – I’m ok.

Mood

For most of this month still absolute shit. I have never made it past week 8 & I am mentally preparing myself to lose this baby too. Every single time I pee I check for blood. I tell you, that is exhausting. If I make it past this month, it’ll be the farthest I’ve ever made it.

Best Moment this Month

Will keeps saying/joking that this pregnancy is probably going to make it because it’s literally the worst timing for teachers (due early August), the one we were not expecting & the one I am emotionally void to. I don’t know if this really qualified as “best moment” but he is much more enthusiastic than I am right now so that’s been nice.

Hardest Moment this Month

I was diagnosed for a blood clotting disorder (APS) which literally does not affect my life for anything but pregnancy. I clot too quickly which can prevent the baby from developing. This time around we can actually do something to prevent the blood clotting issue. You’re probably confused right now? This is a good thing. . . right? Well you ARE right, however Will has to give me daily shots & they hurt. The first time I cried from the pain. Now I am used to it but I dread our new nightly ritual of shots in my abdomen. I look like a bruised heroin addict that shoots into their stomach. It’s not pretty.

Looking forward to

We have our first ultrasound in a few days & I am incredibly nervous. I’m dreading it and looking forward to it at the same time. It’ll tell me if we’re making it or not.

Exercise

I did a lot more hiking on our Georgia vacation but I am nervous about doing too much until I see the ultrasound first. I know I need to get my heart and body in better shape if I am going to make it through but I’m terrified of messing something up.

JMF

2 comments

  1. The prayer I said for you and your baby!

    Humble Mary of Nazareth, you were chosen by God to bear within you our world’s greatest gift, the Savior of all humanity. I come to you now on behalf of (Jessica) who prays for the health and safety of the child that God has graced her to conceive.

    Guard this life that God has created, and protect the mother God has chosen for this child. Let your gentle hands, like that of a skilled physician, assist in her delivery so that this baby will know good health and lasting happiness.

    May her child be favored with the grace of Holy Baptism, and grow to love our Lord Jesus Christ above all else in this world. Amen.

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