How far along
4 weeks sorta. . .the way they count pregnancy is stupid. Instead of starting at estimated date of conception (which I know & if you are interested, it was November 13), they start at the first day of your last period. So physically speaking I am only 2 weeks, but everyone calls it 4.
Obviously we have no idea & at this point I don’t care to place bets. I just want the baby to survive.
*Note: it’s not gender at this point, it’s sex. Yes, it matters. Its biology.
Total weight gain/stretch marks
Nothing. I normally flutter around 135 lbs, but I was hoping to get down to 130 at the beginning of 2020 and then COVID sooo that did not happen but I also did not gain quarantine weight so that’s good.
No, obviously not & to be honest I am not thinking/dreaming/planning that far at all.
I was so freakin’ tired. I would come home from work and sleep for hours. I stupidly thought it was because I loss my intern & now *I* was doing all the direct teaching. Now I realize it’s because I’m pregnant. I never felt this exhausted before in my life.
I thought I was going to miss a glass of wine with dinner but the mere thought of alcohol turns my stomach. I guess that’s a good thing? Funny enough I am not a huge sandwich person but now I really miss sandwiches. I want good, cold deli meat.
I think “lack of” cravings is more like it. All I want to eat is bread and butter. Vegetables just turn me off right now. I’m not trying to push it but I hope that changes.
Physically, my boobs are always the first things to change & it was no different this time. Otherwise no nausea at all, which worries me of course. Because that was how I knew the third pregnancy was over, the nausea stopped overnight. I guess I should be thankful I am not puking my brains out, but it would be at least something reassuring me that the baby was still doing ok.
Absolute shit. We didn’t exactly want to get pregnant again so soon after the third loss. I got so attached before, excitedly planning only to have it ripped away from me & this time it is the opposite: I feel nothing. I void.
Best Moment this Month
Sorry but I’ve got nothing for you.
Hardest Moment this Month
Finding out we were pregnant. I literally just said “F*UCK!” when the test came back positive and cried in the shower. I chose not to believe it and took another one the next day. I’m emotionally spent & can’t really be happy, not when, as has happened 3 times in a row, I lose the baby by week 8.
Looking forward to
Hopefully making it. As empty as I emotionally feel, I obviously hope to meet this baby someday.
Not a damn thing. I was so tired.